Are you being gaslighted?

   The subjected came to mind when someone asked me if the main character of the “Unholy Pursuit Series”  was being gaslighted? I guessed in many way she is.  Considering all the mysterious things happening to her.  But just not the most common way known. What’s happening to  her isn’t being done by anyone she knows. It’s being committed by complete strangers. I did research on the subject before writing the book and found there are many different forms of it.

   A narcissistic, manipulative person and a gaslighter aren’t always the same thing. A narcissistic, manipulative person can become a gaslighter but not always. In most cases a narcissistic, manipulative person is a pain in the butt, not a killer. Gaslighting is a crime committed with the death of the target as the ultimate goal. Most narcissistic,  manipulative people do not kill. Although, they can make one feel like that way.

   Criminal gaslighting is usually conducted by someone the victim do not know. I found out through studying criminal reports in college that it is the most common form. Not the form that has been glamorized in movies where the husband is gaslighting his wife because he wants her out of the way.

One of the most common forms is a lying campaign. They are so successful because the basic of human nature will believe a lie far quicker than the truth. Deep down in the dark nook of our soul most humans like to hear of bad things happening to another person. Many people are drawn into gaslighting campaigns without the least clue they are aiding and abetting a criminal.

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How do you know if you are being gaslighted? If any of the following warning signs ring true, you may be dancing the Gaslight Tango. Take care of yourself by taking another look at your relationship, talking to a trusted friend; and, begin to think about changing the dynamic of your relationship . Here are the signs:

1. You find yourself constantly second-guessing yourself
2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day or it seems other go out their way to make you uncomfortable or to inflict pain or ridicule.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at home, work or social settings.
4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss for the least real or imaginary offense?
5. You can’t understand why so good things in your life have turned sour.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists. True Gaslighters works with partners. Those doing the putdown are usually someone working with the gaslighter.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
14. You wonder if it’s all in your mind.
15. You find yourself without answers to the weirdness.

16. Series of unusual, unexplained events take place.

I know this sounds like something out of a horrible movie but this is a reality for millions of people. Someone trying to get away with murder.

These are a few ways of identifying Gaslighting. The good news is that knowledge is power. Once you can name this all too insidious dynamic, you can work towards changing the dynamic, or getting out or moving away—to take back your reality, and, get more enjoyment from your life.

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About unholypursuit

A. White is a long time member of Romantic Time and Publisher's Weekly who has been writing for over fifteen years. She took classes in creative writing in college, specializing in ancient myths and legends. and at a local community center while living in Chicago. In college she won the national contest to verbally list every country in the world, it's capital and ingenious language. Her works are mainly horror, fantasy, extreme, and sci-fi as well as, as some may says, "the truly strange predicament and puzzling." Books that I've written are "Clash with the Immortals, and eleven others which are part of the "Unholy Pursuit saga," which should be finished this year. She has been working on the Chronicles since 2007. She wished to complete them all before introducing them to public so the readers wouldn't have to for the continuation to be written. The ideas of the book came from classic literature such as whose work greatly influence the world world such as Homer, Sophocles, Herodotus, Euripides, Socrates, Hippocrates, Aristophanes, Plato, Aristotle and many more. The "Book of Enoch" influenced the usage of Azazael as a main character and love interest. I created the primary main character from the Chronicle of Saints. I wanted to show them as real flesh and blood with thoughts, desires and yearning as any human. Not as they are so often depicted. So I created one of my own to show her as a real human that everyone can relate to.
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6 Responses to Are you being gaslighted?

  1. Linette says:

    Properly, I think if more people turned to God there would be less of this crime going on. I wonder do they ever consider what Ԁoes God like?? He doesn’t like this no matter hip or cool people think it is to do this to another human being.

    Like

  2. Grace blessed says:

    This is perhaps the most common crime.

    Like

    • You are right Grace, according crime statistics it’s actual very common. But it’s sad that it’s so common but yet few people recognize it outside law enforcement. According to the National Crime Statistics it is far more common than most people believe it to be. Which is why when police investigates a murder they back track on the victims interaction with others and what was said and done.

      Like

  3. Jack says:

    I noticed in your story your characters sings songs of worship. I was surprised to see that in a story. Singing worship songs is good but that’s not the only
    option to worship. Perhaps, you could make them cease singing for there аre many methods to worship besides singing.

    Like

    • Jack and Dolly thank you for your suggestion. They are appreciated but I can not redo the story to stop their singing for the story is already written. To omit that part would take too much out of the context of the story. The main character Ana is like Jared who is mentioned in the book of Genesis; like Judge Deborah and King David and many others in the bible and other holy books. They used songs as a way of worship. David used songs to conquer demons. Further along in the series you will see other forms.

      Like

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