I didn’t write the original article. The author is listed below. But I thought it was an interesting and very true post.
But I think this mentally starts in early childhood. The child who is labeled the good child will often find themselves becoming the one in the family who is always there and relatives come to expect it. Parents, grandparents, or guardians often to fails to realize the child will continue this doormat behavior outside the home, making them an easy target for abusers.
No one should never burden a child with the responsibility that they must say yes to everything or everyone to be loved. A child shouldn’t be made believe they must give unconditional love to be loved in return. Unconditional love is unrealistic and only set the one doing the giving up for many heartaches. It create selfishness in the heart of the receiver.
A child shouldn’t be made feel guilty if they do not wish to do something. I’m not talking about teaching them responsibility like cleaning their room or caring about others. That’s what parenting are for. But some parents and relatives can be very manipulative and destroy the child’s self-esteem and make them feel as thus they must give and accept anything in order to be loved.
This is a form of social conditioning, mental controlling primarily men and boys aren’t constantly bombard with. It’s directed toward girls and women. If a woman is assertive and knows her worth and how to say no when a request, most often a command, doesn’t suit her agenda or fit into her schedule, she’s labeled selfish. If she demands something in return for her love she’s labeled a b*tch and much worst. If she refuse to forgive a wrong committed against her she’s labeled evil or unlovable or a horrible person.
I say teach your children rather boys or girls that people must earn their respect and love it’s not automatically given. That only God can give unconditional love. Humans can not.