Is the idea of a disabled person finding love still in the Dark Ages?
This article was referred to me. It didn’t open my eyes to the life of a disabled person. As a tenure caseworker during college I had already seen it. I already knew it’s expected that the disabled to have no romantic life, no sexual desire or no interest in finding a partner or having a family.
Some backward Neanderthal dorks still believe if they can do any of these things they aren’t disabled. So yes, the idea of a disabled person finding love still in the Dark Ages? And I don’t mean the Middle Ages kind of dark ages. I mean the prehistoric dark ages.
I think it’s plain ridiculous to expect some one to spend their life alone simply because they are disabled. I never understand the discontinuing of benefits because the person finds love and wants to marry and have a family. That down right cruel and unusual punishment. If anything it hurts the person more than help them. Marriage isn’t some magic wand. It doesn’t make the bills go away nor does it make them able-bodied. They just found someone who had enough sense and maturity not to care about those things.
Forcing them to live in poverty to get the help they need is sitting them up and subjecting them to more abuse than they would perhaps normally encounter If they were allowed or able to rise into another social economic status and still get the help they need. No money doesn’t prevent abuse but poverty make one more likely to become a victim of it.
This is much like what the Third Reich was doing to the disabled. In the 1930s, during the Holocaust, the Nazi passed a law that allowed for people with disabilities to be sterilized. It didn’t matter what type of disability it was. To so call keep their defects from being passed to the next generations, Shortly after, they used disabled in human experiments, considering them to be weak and a burden on society anyway. This very attitude is how they were able to convince people to go along with this madness.
While this past treatment of disabled people was horrible, the historic prejudice and blatant ignorance remains strong today. People with disabilities aren’t seen as being sexual, wanting to experience life as sexual being, or even seen as desirable, or worthy of a romantic life let alone a marriage or relationship.
I could never wrap my mind around how can one be expected to maintain the same trajectory of life as an able bodied person when they have a disability? Families often push for this. I understand not letting your relative disability hinder their goals in life. That’s not what I’m talking about. Encouragement isn’t what I mean. What I mean is when the person limitations aren’t taken in consideration of what they can and can not do but are still expected to do these things.
Family members need to get the dumb crap out their head there’s something wrong with their relatives and stop pushing them to be ‘normal’. Exactly what is normal in life or a relationship? Of course, abuse and violence isn’t normal but I mean other things. I haven’t seen anyone who fit the idealized definition of normal. Everyone has their own little quirks. It’s what make them who they are. People aren’t robots.
Once during an intake interview I even heard some relatives tell the disabled person in their family. “Get that notion out your head. No one in their right mind will want you. Settle yourself down and hope a relative live long enough to take care of you so you don’t end up in an institution.”
Well, you know me. I couldn’t let that crude comment slide. I had to defend the person telling them their relative was wrong and if anyone doesn’t want you because certain parts doesn’t function. It’s their loss not yours. They aren’t worth your time anyway. But I wondered if they said that in publicly what must they say privately?