Confession of an Emo

A reader who she and I got into a conversation about depression and why I haven’t included it in my series considering what a hazard it is to the world. I asked her to describe to me exactly what she was talking about. This is her confession. I have alternated nor corrected it.

Hi, I am writing the article you asked of me to see if I can get people to understand that being Emo isn’t all about sub-punk music. People are prejudice against us because they don’t understand us. Prejudice is a big thing, and ’emos’ experience it everyday.

I liked the story of The Fairy Tree Troll but Orenthal and Gomer are too happy to be interesting to an Emo. Had they both fallen into such depression after her brother’s death and cut or harm themselves then that would have been a crowning story but instead they’re angry and trying to hunt down and kill the fairy tree trolls.

I liked the story of Ana, she’s cool and very fierce but she wouldn’t make a good Emo. She’s too…I can’t describe her but whatever she is, she wouldn’t a great Emo. Considering all her problems she has the potential to make a great one but she’s has too much fighting spirit in her. Emos do not fight to stay alive. Death is a welcome relief. Another thing, Ana refuses to allow her depression show. She keeps it bottled up.

Bea would make a great Emo if she would stop thinking about killing other people and think more on killing herself.
Misunderstanding is something you as an adult doesn’t deal with every day. We Emos deal with it everyday because people do not try to understand us, nor never will they ever unless they have endured what have endured.

You asked me several questions as to why I agreed to write this article. No, it has nothing to do with rather or not you are comfortable in life or not. Most of us are very comfortable in life. That’s not what’s about.

I know you said all teens has angst and go through changes as they grow and develop. This is where people don’t understand. Emo do not wish to grow up, change and develop. They do not wish to be a part of the machine called society. They do not wish to be ‘in-love’ in the traditional sense of being in-love.

To an Emo love must have drama and sadness. If a partner is too nice then we leave them. Why do we leave them? Because they aren’t being their authentic self.

Sure, we know about adult books and get tired of adults trying to force them on us. You see, Mrs. White, we reminisce in the days of our childhood because those days were happy. That’s why the YA genre is so popular. The fairies and unicorns takes us to a happy place. That happy place disappeared when you begin to age and mature and people start to expect things from you like get a job, make good grades to get into Ivy League schools. Have a family, have sex, dress normal, and etc.

You asked what we will do when our parents say. “It’s time to leave the nest.” You’re talking about another generation; our grandparents’ generation. They were child abusers. Our parents would never say such a cruel thing. They’re much more understanding of how we feel than our grandparents’ generation cared about how our parents felt.

All do not wear black clothing all the time but most have a few black garments. Oftentimes our parents complain about the black clothing, nail polish, mood and attitude. If your car isn’t black then it doesn’t suit your mood. A bright cheerful color doesn’t reflect how you feel inside. Why should we drive a dodge when our parents are plenty sufficient enough to buy a Mercedes or a BMW at the very least?

People need to take a walk in our shoes. To understand. Most Emo do not like do-gooders like you. Because you would say so many people don’t have shoes nor a closet to put them in. That is not our concern. This world was f*cked up when we were born and will remain messed up.

Here’s the answer to your question: What is an Emo:

Emos are people who have emotional issues with family and friends. Some are genuinely depressed and some are faking it–these are what we call posers. An poser only dressed this way and hang out with us because it’s cool.

If people understood our way of life most of us wouldn’t be rude to them. But most Emos are sad not rude. Most a quiet and no one notice them until they take their life.

But a true Emo suffer from clinical depression or major depression and most have contemplate suicide. If you aren’t depressed about life then you are shallow to an Emo. It means you are a part of the problems.

Bulimia and anorexia are also a part of being an Emo.

Depression, whether clinical, self-generated, or biological is a serious problem and should not be made fun of as most assholes do.

Depression is one of the leading causes of death in America. Just this past year several people took their lives after losing a life long battle to depression.

Some people have gone through difficulties in life and kept their feelings bottled in and didn’t talk about what happened to them. This is the kind of person your main character is.

This has caused them to suffer major depression. These people have been raped, or been abused whether physically verbally or mentally. Some people have suffered all four unfortunately.

But this isn’t the case with a generated depressed. Perhaps you never heard of it. Generated depression is when one ponders the conditions of life unto the point of depression.

And the way we dress goes along with how we think and feels. True Emos are depressed and think about death 24/7, want to die, or feel like it would be better if they were never born.

They feel like they can never get help because no one will never listen. The color red and black is considered the colors of angry and sadness or evil, if you ever look in a dictionary. You will see where the colors come from. Like the colors you used in the first book color. I was surprised to find an adult who understood the meanings of these colors. Most are completely ignorant to such things. Oh, I forgot. You used to be a teacher.

Anyway, the colors goes along well with what we feel, and have gone through. Growing up in America children learn the meanings of colors in english/language arts class. Therefore they are expressing themselves. But no one really truly understands the psychology behind it. I was surprised to learn that you knew the psychology behind them. Everyone is too busy telling you how you ‘could’ feel instead of listening to you tell them how you actually feel. No one want to hear anything sad or unhappy. Everything must be happy and cheerful all the time. That’s is impossible.
I know what it is like for I have major depression and have suffered from it all of my life. I thankfully have had help for two years now. But my depression is still here. The doctors said once it’s generated it alters the brain chemicals and never goes away. You learn to work through it. But I am considered a hard case to work with because I have so many problems, finding a antidepressant to work with me is very difficult. Talking to you helped me a lot.

If you do ask any questions to me. I do not want your sympathy, only because other people need it. I’m getting better while many others aren’t. Many who started out Emos in their early teens are dead by eighteen. Why? Because eighteen is the age you have to face the world on your on and they can’t handle it.

Yes I did dress in all black every day in seventh – tenth grade, I was one of them. I am not anymore. I am now a freshman in college. How I got better was my grandparent came and made me live my finish years of high school with them. My mother didn’t want me to live with them but after several attempts to take my life my grandmother stepped in and started saying all kind of crazy things like: “If you want to die, then come live with me and I’ll kill you.”

I agreed to go with the batty old lady because I thought she was serious. I thought she would help me end it all. She was cool until she got me in the small town my mother is from and the people attending to your business like it’s going out of style. They ask you all kind of strange, none of their business questions. They weren’t rude or mean like the city people. They talk you to death. They never shut up or leave you alone. If you try and go away and think. They sent someone with you. My grandpa took the lock off the bathroom door and threaten to take the door off if I started staying in there too long.

My crazy grandfather burnt all my black clothing and kept pushing me away from the fire and when I fell on the ground crying he came laid and on the ground beside me and started crying too saying how I feel right now is how he would feel if I die. Grandma came and laid on the ground beside him. I got up. Those two were nuts. I called home and I told mom to come and get me. Her family is nuts. But she didn’t.

I finished my last two years of high school with my grandparents and my trillions of nosy cousins.

The whole notion of emo is like this; the more depressed you are, the cooler you are.

The difference between emos and normal people are emo’s

some cut themselves because of depression and normal people don’t. I wasn’t much of a cutter. Grandmother kept everything to cut locked away in her room. I tried finding sharp sticks and stones but there was someone always looking out the window. The cars only drove ten miles per hour around town so stepping in front of one was useless.

Ok, there’s my story. The Confession of an EMO.

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About unholypursuit

A. White, a former librarian who is also long time member of Romantic Time and Publisher's Weekly. A. White has been writing for over fifteen years. She took classes in creative writing in college, specializing in ancient myths and legends. and at a local community center while living in Chicago. In college she won the national contest to verbally list every country in the world, it's capital and ingenious language. Her works are mainly horror, fantasy, extreme, and sci-fi as well as, as some may says, "the truly strange predicament and puzzling." Books that I've written are "Clash with the Immortals, and eleven others which are part of the "Unholy Pursuit saga,". She has been working on the Chronicles since 2007. She wished to complete them all before introducing them to public so the readers wouldn't have to for the continuation to be written. The ideas of the book come from classic literature such as whose work greatly influence the world world such as Homer, Sophocles, Herodotus, Euripides, Socrates, Hippocrates, Aristophanes, Plato, Aristotle and many more. The "Book of Enoch" influenced the usage of Azazael as a main character and love interest. I created the primary main character from the Chronicle of Saints. I wanted to show them as real flesh and blood with thoughts, desires and yearning as any human. Not as they are so often depicted. So I created one of my own to show her as a real human that everyone can relate to.
This entry was posted in ANNOUNCEMENTTS, depression, disabled, emotions, family, Friends, girls, Gothic, Health, humanity, Insult, life, madness, personality types, Think It Over and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Confession of an Emo

  1. I would like to thank you for your article and giving me a greater insight on the subject we discussed. Only I know your name and I truly hope you find peace.

    Like

  2. lula says:

    OK, I don’t want to sound mean but I saw no reason for the young woman to insult you. I have not read anything yet in this article to be depressed about. I am not saying those whom real harm has occurred couldn’t be depressed. But when one doesn’t bother fight back then the abuser have won. They accomplished what they set out to do.

    But considering this country’s history and how it was founded and how it made its wealth why are everyone surprised these things are happening?

    If African Americans could rise up out the mindbogglingly oppression and discrimination they endured for 400 hundred years and the prejudice born out of slavery is still here. It’s subdue but it still exist.

    Normally, I am a very compassion person but I’m sorry but I have very little sympathy for those who haven’t been through anything but stupidly sat and alter their brain waves because it’s ‘cool’. Now if those who truly has been oppressed were to be doing these things I would have sympathy.

    It seems to me they are spoiled to the maximum. I went to high school with people like this and they were very rude and disrespectful. Most act as they were the only person in the world with problems. They had no sympathy for no one.

    This is what abuse and oppression looked like.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_National_Memorial_for_Peace_and_Justice

    Liked by 1 person

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